Selling the Family Dog for a Sales Job

exclusive interview with the AE that sold his dog

Author

Nic
April 26, 2023

Happy Alien Day! (it’s actually alien day)

In today’s Follow Up:

  • Selling your dog for your sales job? 🥺

  • Sales in the news & weapons of the week ⚔️

  • Cool sales jobs @ cool companies 💼

Sales Fact of The Week

“75% of B2B buyers use social media to make purchasing decisions.”

Would You Sell Your Dog for Your Sales Job?

We’ve heard of people moving states or selling their houses for a job…

But we’ve never heard of someone selling a family member.

In a leaked all-hands meeting, the CEO of ClearLink praised an employee for selling their family dog so they could return to the office.

This isn’t a parody. This is corporate America.

Where you sell your dog for your job and your dignity time for commission.

The CEO didn’t just praise the employee who sold their dog.

He also:

  • Questioned working mothers' ability to provide value to the company while caring for their children

  • Challenged staff to outwork him, saying, “I challenge any of you to outwork me"

  • Suggested employees get rid of their pets if they can’t commit to working in the office 4 days a week

We understand the CEO is concerned about his employees WFH productivity (I mean, we’ve all heard the stories about people working 10 remote jobs at the same time). But there’s gotta be a better way to approach the problem than this.

Besides the CEO’s comments, this video leaves us with so many questions, like…

Are they in sales? Are they on the brink of missing quota? Are they sick in the head?

We did our best CSI impression to find the culprit and despite hours of LinkedIn stalking prospecting, we came up empty-handed.

Instead, we imagined what this interview would sound like if a sales guy was the suspect. We told ChatGPT about the ClearLink all-hands meeting, the CEO’s quotes, and the suspect.

Here’s how SuspectGPT answered: 👇

Even ChatGPT understands how unethical this is. 🤣

So we took this into our own hands and imagined what this interview (via iMessage) would look like.

Let’s dive in 👇

The Follow Up: What’s up Brett (we’re calling him Brett. Don’t ask why)? Thanks for agreeing to this… So, did you really sell your family dog?

Brett: Unfortunately, I did. We just bought Teddy (a golden retriever puppy) 5 months before we heard about the office return mandate. It was a super difficult decision, but I had to prove I was committed to the company.

The Follow Up: We have so many questions… What’s your role? Where did you move to? and why did you have to sell your dog?

Brett: I’m a mid-market AE, so I sell ClearLink to medium size companies. We moved to Ohio because my $80K base salary went a lot further. But now that I have to move back to Salt Lake City and the only apartment I can afford isn’t dog friendly. It’s a super sh*tty situation, but hoping it helps me get promoted. Need to go, but thanks for the interview.

The Follow Up: Thanks Brett.

If anyone knows the real ClearLink employee that sold their dog, please put us in contact.

We have so many questions...

Sales in the News:

Sales Weapons of The Week:

  • Timemate - Find timezone differences to schedule meetings faster.

  • Everylead.ai - Write personalized messages to prospects using AI

  • Venturefy.ai - Find verified corporate relationships for any company. A a public wiki of verified B2B relationships, build with the help of ai.

Cool Jobs at Cool Companies:

Checking in from LinkedIn:

Meme of the Week

And that’s a wrap!

Reply to this email and let us know what you think of today’s email.